We're So Drunk

November 21, 2007

There's drunk, and then there's falling down, utterly shitfaced, unholy and deathly drunk.

Mammoth's cops came across the latter last week. Maybe the guy was bummed over the snow situation. Or the 13 percent bed tax. Or USC's season. Or he could have been one of those people in the lottery to get one of those 10 new liquor permits and just got tired of waiting. Who knows?

So this guy was staying at an motel that was not identified in the police report. He was so polluted he could not leave his room. The motel people freaked out, natch, and called Mammoth's Finest.

What they found was a dude whose blood alcohol was .57 percent -- a historic high for Mammoth, and that's really something. Not even the boys involved in the Whiskey Creek parking lot fracas a couple of weeks ago came close to that.

No snowboarder on record ever matched it; no dirtbag did either, or anybody else who has come reeling through our town.

It was truly impressive.

The police say .37 percent is lethal, and levels of .45 percent are fatal to nearly all people.

So here's to Motel Man. Bottoms up, and keep it on the level.

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