Cranky Bastard

September 12, 2007

The Cranky Bastard entered the rest stop and grumped his way over too the food. This was during the High Sierra Fall Century bike ride on Sept. 8. It was easy to spot him as a Cranky Old Bastard, because his cycling jersey had "Cranky Old Bastard Bicycle Club" on the back. It's not a club you'd want to join, necessarily, unless you are a habitual bastard.

Bike jerseys are great, especially when they're worn by a girl with pink hair, like Nat, from San Francisco. Her jersey, black with pink graphics, depicted a woman cyclist, bent over her drop handlebars, presumably pedaling furiously. And by the way, the woman cyclist on the jersey was depicted as very well endowed and naked as a needle.

We liked Nat a lot, and we also liked the woman who rode by in a South Park jersey with "Oh, Man, You Guys SUCK!" on the back. Everybody got a good look at that one, on account of she was one of those athletes who can dust anybody she wants to. I volunteered.

One woman rode with a RAGBRAI jersey. RAGBRAI is too complicated and majestic to get into here, though.

Greg Lemond rode by with his son, Todd. Todd's jersey wasn't interesting, but all the girls behind him were. They left drool marks on the highway. The girls, that is. Greg Lemond wore a charcoal gray jersey with nothing on it. You wouldn't want to call him boring, but maybe one of his three old yellow jersey from the Tour de France might have been nice.

When we got to the end of the course, we ran into Sam Mudie, the chieftain of the Sierra Cycling Foundation, which put on the ride along with the Eastside Velo Club of Mammoth.

"Hey Sam,!" yelled I. "Seen a Cranky Old Bastard anywhere around here?"

Sam said he had not.

"How about a pink girl?"

Nope.

It's all in the timing in these kinds of things.

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