Mammoth Whitewater

March 10, 2006

I just finished reading the Men's Journal article about the "50 Best Places To Live." No beefs here about including Mammoth and Bishop in the list, but I nevertheless was baffled by the magazine's assertion that we have whitewater sports around here.

I asked some of the sporting goods places if they'd had any runs on whitewater kayaks or anything like that since the article hit the racks on March 7, and those people just stared back at me, as bewildered as a hatchery trout.

Hmm. How could MJ have gotten it so mixed up?

Finally—doh!— I figured it out, picked up the phone and called Lyin' Judy Bridger.

The last time I ran into Lyin' Judy, she was misdirecting traffic at the Village parking lot.

"Hey Judy, anybody from Men's Journal call you lately about being a source for an article about Mammoth?"

There was a pause on the end of the line. I could tell this question was coming straight out of the blue.

"Umm, yeah, well, about two months ago, yeah!" she said.

"I'll bet you told the reporter some whoppers, huh?"

"It was like shooting fish in a barrel," Judy said. "I told the poor rascal that the San Joaquin has some of the best whitewhiter around, and I think he bought it!"

Judy moved the phone away from her mouth and she laughed really loud.

"Har, har har!" she laughed.

"Howzabout 'rust-red cliffs' in the Gorge," asks I, and on the other end of the phone, Judy just shrieked with laughter.

She caught her breath just long enough to say, "And hey! I told a developer that we had wolves up in the woods by the Mountain Center on Canyon Blvd., and I see that he brought that to a Town Council meeting!"

Well, so there you go, ladies and gentleman. Blockheaded stuff that gets into the press usually is because of blockheads in the press writing about blockheads in the blockheaded world.

But sometimes it's just Judy. She don't mean nothin' by it, really.

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