The Emmentaler Crisis

February 9, 2006

Suddenly, Mammoth's supermarket situation looks to be part of a political issue that could influence next June's municipal elections, maybe, and I am not laughing as I scribble. The advice from this corner, take it or leave it, is never overlook the Emmentaler situation, which gets the heart of the supermarket question.

It's kind of hard to believe, on one level, that the food store could be a high-profile thing, given there's going to be three seats up for grabs, along with, probably, a tax hike measure, although that's just for sales taxes and transient occupancy taxes, which are both aimed to soak the tourists for a little more dough.

And there no doubt will be a discussion of some of the flashpoint topics currently being discussed by the Town Council as it wends its way toward approving a General Plan.

But all that falls into the realm of the abstract, and the supermarket question is about as concrete as you can get, to wit:

I was over at Vons the other day, looking for some cheese to use for a fondue bash to celebrate the three-year birthday of my hound dog, Trixie. Is it too much to ask for some good quality Swiss? Maybe a quarter pound of Emmentaler and some Appenzeller? A little Kirsch brandy for the finishing touch?

When I got to what was left of the gourmet the cheese area, I spotted four small squares of Gruyere, which I pounced on with alacrity.

I found some sliced, processed Swiss cheese from Kraft over where the regular cheeses are, and that was that.

When I got home, Trix said she'd found a spot on the Internet to get good fondue cheeses, but said that she'd be content with just the little squares of Gruyere, which tells you a lot about Trix, and dogs in general. They ain't burdened with pride.

So that's why Councilman Tony Barrett is all in a froth over our plight. With just one store in town to service a throng that on weekends reaches over 30,000, there's crowding and shortages and the parking is right out of Hell.

My advice for visitors is to buy groceries on the way up—the Bishop Vons is perfectly fine, and Manor Market has great wines— or contact Nicole Godoy or Victoria Hardy over at Mammoth VIP services, who will do the shopping for you.

But if it's fondue cheeses, bring 'em up from L.A. And if you do happen to be in a cheese shop, I know a three-year-old dog who wouldn't mind it if you maybe brought a little extra, and she'd be happy to make it up to you upon arrival.

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