Cheese On Aisle 4

August 29, 2005

By Bump Diamond
Man About Town

    Lotsa locals are wandering around Vons this weekend looking a little bit like ducks that have been hit in the head with a mallet.
    It's starting to get to where nothing is where it used to be.  In a town like Mammoth, that can send a local into a paroxysm of confusion, that is, now that we've all found the beer, wine and booze aisle (6).
    Anyway, the cheese, which used to be over by the deli on Aisle 1, has moved over to Aisle 4.  This should come as no surprise to people who are entering the store from the eastern doors. From there, you can see the change plainly.
    For those entering on the other side of the store, you are already so confused that by the time you are in the cheese aisle you are beyond redemption.
    I was standing next to a kid in Aisle 2, meanwhile, and he had on a Starbucks employee shirt.  Said he was looking for a powder, of some kind, that you stir into sour cream to make chip dip.
    I gagged at the idea, but then said, "Huh?"
    And he said,
    "They keep telling me it's on this aisle but I'm not seeing it."
    I asked him how long he'd been in this aisle searching.
    He said, "Half my life."

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